How do we end up staying so long??

PART 2

Performance in your work doesn’t equal Design

You can perform well in a job and still be misaligned. You can succeed — and still feel like you’re swimming upstream. If you had asked me, I would have told you I’d end up in staffing. That work was intuitive. Natural. Mortgages were not. But as we talked about in Part 1 of Why We Stay, it often seems right to stick with our careers, to keep going and improve.

I had begun to doubt myself. I watched others on my team and felt like I was missing something. I met with my boss, with a couple co-workers and was assured, “You’re doing great! It’s going to get better!” Co-workers said they were struggling too.

“Unstructured”

A friend introduced me to a company called Career Direct. They gave career assessments and helped folks figure out what careers would be a good fit. Shizzam! I LOVED the concept, took the assessment and got the results. It said that I was highly unstructured and that I shouldn’t be in a job with lots of details or deadlines. (agh!) “Unstructured” sounded irresponsible. Undisciplined. Scattered. I came from a structured home and had handled detailed work my whole life. Surely the assessment was wrong. It was just stress, I told myself. I honestly disregarded the result as I knew it was incorrect.

Work was interfering with my life . . . becoming my life. Sixty-hour work weeks were normal and I was discouraged and isolated.

Around this time a couple things happened — I heard of an organization called Better Together - they did job fairs at churches, inviting local employers to solve local unemployment. At the same time, I had a meaningful conversation about stepping into nonprofit leadership. It didn’t materialize — but it reawakened something. As I thought and prayed, I ended up re-engaging with my passions, ultimately giving me the couraeg to resign my mortgage work.

Competence does not equal Design.

Skill does not equal Wiring.

Survival does not equal Fit.

Misalignment is costly. Not only do you experience relationship strain, stress and a lower success rate, but your lack of confidence can lead to doubt your worth as a person. At times, I had some pretty unhealthy interactions, sometimes originating with me and other times a client or boss. Truly understanding one’s own abilities, limitations and personality can limit these exchanges, as it is clear what situations we will thrive in and which will not be a good fit.

Where are you succeeding but exhausted?

What feels intuitive vs. forced?

Set aside some time to honestly consider your work this week.