How do we end up staying so long?
When Work Doesn’t Fit - PART I
A note to my mortgage buds . . .
I almost feel guilty for talking about my work like this. After all, I was the one who accepted the jobs, the training, who networked and made good friends in the industry. I always loved my teams, my bosses, my clients and industry friends. Toward the end of my career, there was a rhythm (albeit long hours!), but we were “in it” together, we commiserated, celebrated wins and cared for each other. I truly had the best boss, team, great products and good friends.
Years earlier, I had worked in staffing — it felt like water. Natural. Intuitive. Energizing. Mortgages were different. I could do them. I ended up doing them well. But it was never the same.
So what happened? Why did I stay in mortgages vs. going after my first career love?
The answer is more complicated than I expected.
Early on, it felt like a gift. I was given the opportunity to learn an industry that combined two things I was good at — money and people. Friends encouraged me: “You’ll be great at that.” A good friend trained me generously and trusted me. It was a season of growth. But it was never easy.
Also, growth can quietly become obligation.
I stepped into an industry I barely understood. I didn’t yet know what it would take to thrive — only that I needed to prove myself.
Investment makes leaving hard. After a few years, you’ve invested time, skill, reputation, and relationships. Commissions increase. Confidence grows. The longer you stay, the more expensive it feels to leave. Walking away starts to feel irresponsible.
Ultimately for me, I think it came down to the people. The friends in the industry, so fun and funny, our great clients, our amazing team. I will always be grateful for those relationships and for knowing I can do hard things.
What did I learn?
I learned that financial fear doesn’t need to lead the conversation. Commission-based pay revealed my own financial insecurity and fear, but eventually, the Lord confirmed that He is my provision — not my deals.
I learned that staying somewhere good can still cost something.
Sometimes the Lord invites us to release something good in order to receive something new.
Are you staying because you’re feeling called to grow or because you’re afraid to leave?
What would clarity change?
What is the cost of staying?
“Do not call to mind the former things, or ponder things of the past. ‘Behold, I will do something new, Now it will spring forth; Will you not be aware of it?
I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, rivers in the desert.” (Isaiah 43:18-19)