Are you an Introvert or Extrovert?

(Introducing 🎵 The Workday Soundtrack and 🌿The Reluctant Gardener!)

MUSIC! It’s a thing. It’s good for your soul (and body, when you dance!) and there’s all kinds of truth in the lyrics. Enjoy….❤️

🎵 The Workday Soundtrack

In this season of life, I’m loving audiobooks - great for listening while you cook, weed or sew. This week, I ran across a fascinating book titled, QUIET: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, by Susan Cain. As a career coach and confirmed extrovert, I was hooked.

Without getting into the zillions of types of introverts or extroverts (available online everywhere), the most striking theme was the history of how our society changed from a “Culture of Character” in the early 20th century that prioritized inner virtue, integrity (when no one was watching) and moral discipline. Abraham Lincoln was praised as embodying these traits.

Enter Industrialization, where men and women began working in factories, large stores and interacting with more and more strangers, requiring more finely-honed social skills. The history of the “rise of the Salesman” (think Dale Carnegie) led directly to the “Culture of Personality”, where we all now require new “public-facing behaviors”. Let’s look at a couple quotes:

“In the Culture of Character, the ideal self was serious, disciplined, and honorable. What counted was not so much the impression one made in public as how one behaved in private. The word personality didn’t exist in English until the 18th century, and the idea of “having a good personality” was not widespread until the twentieth.

… But when they embraced the Culture of Personality, Americans started to focus on how others perceived them. They became captivated by people who were bold and entertaining. “The social role demanded of all in the new Culture of Personality was that of a performer,” Cain wrote. (selfie, anyone?) “Every American was to become a performing self.” — Susan Cain, Quiet

I see this play out in Career Direct consultations all the time. Extroverts are praised for the strength of their social acumen, while being warned that “a strength overdone becomes a weakness.” There is wisdom in knowing when to stop and listen. For introverts, strengths always include their ability to focus, listen well and speak succintly — with substance. Introverts are warned to actually communicate their ideas, or they will be lost to us. We all generally know these things, but how does this play out in our current culture? Extroversion is praised and introverts are regularly coaxed out of their hiding places, but how does this affect us?

“If we assume that quiet and loud people have roughly the same number of good (and bad) ideas, then we should worry if the louder and more forceful people always carry the day. This would mean that an awful lot of bad ideas prevail, while good ones get squashed. Yet studies in group dynamics suggest that this is exactly what happens. We perceive talkers as smarter than quiet types - even though grade-point averages and SAT and intelligence scores reveal this perception to be inaccurate. “ —Susan Cain, Quiet

As one with top StrengthFinders traits of “Woo” and “Positivity” (and a high extroversion score), I am often struck by the strengths of my introvert friends — their quiet, deep reflections, their ability to focus (and accomplish things!) and their often rich talents that require a quieter mind.

I highly recommend this book. It further covers the benefits of Solitude, Practice and Mastery, how our open offices and collaboration efforts affect productivity and creativity, covers nurture vs. nature, cross-cultural differences and of course the myth of multi-tasking.

Below is a link to Susan Cain’s Introvert or Extrovert Quiz, so you can find out for yourself. (You probably already know!)

https://susancain.net/quiet-quiz/

These dynamics matter at work. For employers, team leads and employees alike, we can all mistake visibility for ability. The person who speaks first in a meeting may not be the one with the best idea. The employee who thinks before answering isn't necessarily disengaged. And the person who loves people may still need to learn to listen. Understanding our natural tendencies helps us appreciate what we bring to the workplace—and what our quieter friends and co-workers bring to the table.

Enjoy. If you’re an Introvert, stand a little taller. If you’re a confirmed Extrovert, take a closer look at your quiet friends. (Aren’t they just lovely? And so are you…..)

This week in the Garden…

(This will be a regular part of each post… because I knew you would love to know!)

I survived Cucumbers, so Pickles, Salsa and Relish are now IN the canning cabinet. But now TOMATOES are rolling in fast & furiously, so dreaming of sauce, salsa and bruschetta. Also, basil has gone wild!

What I’ve learned is that faithful consistency equal beauty and good food.

Have a great week . . .

Regards, your favorite weeder

Are Career Assessments Worth It?

I’m a bit of a skeptic by nature. Is one assessment really that much better than another?

Maybe it was all those years in mortgages, but despite being impressed when I took the Career Direct assessment, I wanted to see the numbers — does it work? Is it worth the investment? Can’t I just take a free test online and get the same result?

If you’ve ever wondered about these things, you’re in good company.

Not All Assessments Are Created Equal

So many assessments, so little time . . . . there are SO MANY career tests! How do you choose?

You’ll notice some focus on personality. Some look at interests. Others highlight strengths or abilities. All of which is helpful. But it’s only part of the picture.

According to CareerOneStop, MIT Career Services, and others, a strong career assessment should include:

• ‍ Personality Inventory

• Interest Inventory

• Skills Inventory

• Work Values

• Overal Aptitude Testing

True career clarity and the ability to take actionable steps come when all of these parts are combined and work together.

In addition, assessments need to be personalized and highly engaging, have good data and research behind them and focus on interests. One of the goals of any career assessment is to increase one’s level of self-awareness. “Self-knowledge has been hailed as an absolute prerequisite to informed career exploration.”(Kuder.com)

If You’re Wondering About Your Own Work . . .

If you have questions like:

• “Why does my work feel hard and draining?

• Is this the right place for me, or is there a better spot for my talents?

• Do I need to “tweak” my workplace, or do I need to rethink my direction completely?

It might be worth checking things out.

My Own Experience (and GIFT to you!)

When I took my first Career Direct assessment, I was pretty impressed. It seemed comprehensive, I felt like it “nailed” me (with the exception of one offending characteristic*), and it offered a lot of follow-up work to continue career research after the consult concluded.

*An aside on self-perception: Sometimes, the biggest barrier to clarity isn’t the tool — it’s our assumptions about ourselves.

Those assumptions can come from family expectations, self-expectations, or simply years of doing what was required.

But when those thoughts about ourselves don’t align with how we’re actually wired, work becomes harder than it needs to be.

(*This was certainly true for me — especially when it came to how I naturally approach structure and detail. You can read more about that in my earlier posts.)

About a year after taking my first assessment, I resigned my mortgage position and looked into becoming a Career Direct Consultant. As a part of my training, I took another assessment and found my results nearly identical. That consistency mattered. It confirmed the assessment’s excellent test-retest ratios and ranked its reliability among the top assessments available. My research at that time convinced me this was a statistically viable test and one I could easily recommend to clients and friends. While preparing this post, I gathered that material into a simple guide for you, available below.

The free guide covers:

• popular career assessments

• what each one measures (and what they miss)

• what to look for if you want career clarity and the ability to take actionable steps.

Not all assessments will lead you forward — but the right one can. (Enjoy!)

Download the guide: Choosing the Right Career Assessment

When Work and your Design Align

When Work Doesn’t Fit — PART 3

I thought the first assessment was wrong. Surely “unstructured” was just stress and not actually me. After resigning from mortgages, I trained as a Career Direct consultant and began giving assessments and consultations. LOVED it. (still do!) As a part of my training, I took the assessment again - this time in a calm season. The results barely changed. “Unstructured” remained my strongest trait. That was harder to dismiss.

Another assessment, same result

One of the strengths of the assessment is its consistency. Interests and skills may shift over time, but personality remains remarkably stable. Seeing the same result twice forced me to reconsider what I had resisted. What did it mean? Internally, it translated to undisciplined. Flaky. Not able to compete. But after reading, researching, and talking with my trainer — who gently reminded me there are no bad traits — I began to consider something freeing: Although my home was quite structured, I was not. Additionally, around that same time, I was seeing a therapist and cautiously raised the question of possibly being ADHD. Her immedicate, “You think?” was both humorous and clarifying. It didn’t define me — but it explained some things. When I slowly shared this with close friends and family, no one seemed surprised. (Except me.)

One of the reasons I knew these things weren’t true, is because I had been the structure in our home with lots of A.D.H.D. For a while, the possibility and realization brought discomfort and regret. Why hadn’t this been picked up before? What would life have been like, had I known? Would my choices have been different? Eventually though, frustration gave way to acceptance and relief. I discovered a whole body of research about ADHD in women — including capable, creative women at the peak of their careers. I was in good company!

Over the next couple of years, the Lord gently confirmed His design in me. He showed me the strengths of my wiring — creativity, adaptability, big-picture thinking, and gave me strategies for the harder parts (hello, time-blindness).

Something shifted.

I led our church in a Job Fair with Better Together. As we packed up that evening, I sensed the Lord say, “This is one of the good things I had in mind for you to do.” (Not audibly, but distinctly, nonetheless.) I later accepted a role within Better Together, working in ways aligned with how I’m wired — and the difference was unmistakable.

I knew the work intuitively.

Expansive instead of constricting.

Energizing instead of exhausting.

I cannot tell you the difference it makes to work with your design instead of against it.

Understanding your wiring doesn’t remove effort. It removes unnecessary friction.

It replaces shame with clarity, freedom and contribution.

The Lord knows what’s next for each of us.

The question is — are we willing to understand how He’s designed us?

If you’ve been wondering whether your work truly fits who you are, maybe it’s time to explore that question honestly.

I’d love to have that conversation with you.

Being good at your work isn’t the same as being designed for it.

When Work Doesn’t Fit - PART II‍ ‍

You can perform well in a job and still be misaligned. You can succeed — and still feel like you’re swimming upstream. If you had asked me, I would have told you I’d end up in staffing. That work was intuitive. Natural. Mortgages were not. But as we talked about in Part 1 of When Work Doesn’t Fit, it often seems right to stick with our careers, to keep going and improve.

I had begun to doubt myself. I watched others on my team and felt like I was missing something. I met with my boss, with a couple co-workers and was assured, “You’re doing great! It’s going to get better!” Co-workers said they were struggling too.

“Unstructured”‍ ‍

A friend introduced me to a company called Career Direct. They gave career assessments and helped folks figure out what careers would be a good fit. Shizzam! I LOVED the concept, took the assessment and got the results. It said that I was highly unstructured and that I shouldn’t be in a job with lots of details or deadlines. (Agh! Are you kidding me?) I came from a structured home and had handled detailed work my whole life. Surely the assessment was wrong. It was just stress, I told myself. Also, “unstructured” sounded irresponsible. Undisciplined and scattered. I honestly disregarded the result as I knew it was incorrect.

Work was interfering with my life . . . becoming my life. Sixty-hour work weeks were normal and I felt discouraged and isolated.

Around this time a couple things happened — I heard of an organization called Better Together - they did job fairs at churches, inviting local employers to solve local unemployment. At the same time, I had a meaningful conversation about stepping into nonprofit leadership. It didn’t materialize — but it reawakened something. As I thought and prayed, I ended up re-engaging with my passions, ultimately giving me the courage to resign my mortgage work.

Competence does not equal Design.

Skill does not equal Wiring.

Survival does not equal Fit.

Misalignment is costly. Not only do you experience relationship strain, stress and a lower success rate, but your lack of confidence can lead to doubt your worth as a person. At times, I had some pretty unhealthy interactions, sometimes originating with me and other times a client or boss. Truly understanding one’s own abilities, limitations and personality can limit these exchanges, as it is clear what situations we will thrive in and which will not be a good fit.

Where are you succeeding but exhausted?

What feels intuitive vs. forced?

Set aside some time to honestly consider your work this week.

How do we end up staying so long?

When Work Doesn’t Fit - PART I

A note to my mortgage buds . . .

I almost feel guilty for talking about my work like this. After all, I was the one who accepted the jobs, the training, who networked and made good friends in the industry. I always loved my teams, my bosses, my clients and industry friends. Toward the end of my career, there was a rhythm (albeit long hours!), but we were “in it” together, we commiserated, celebrated wins and cared for each other. I truly had the best boss, team, great products and good friends.

Years earlier, I had worked in staffing — it felt like water. Natural. Intuitive. Energizing. Mortgages were different. I could do them. I ended up doing them well. But it was never the same.

So what happened? Why did I stay in mortgages vs. going after my first career love?‍ ‍

The answer is more complicated than I expected.

• Early on, it felt like a gift. I was given the opportunity to learn an industry that combined two things I was good at — money and people. Friends encouraged me: “You’ll be great at that.” A good friend trained me generously and trusted me. It was a season of growth. But it was never easy.

  Also, growth can quietly feel like obligation.

• I stepped into an industry I barely understood. I didn’t yet know what it would take to thrive — only that I needed to prove myself.

• Investment makes leaving hard. After a few years, you’ve invested time, skill, reputation, and relationships. Commissions increase. Confidence grows. The longer you stay, the more expensive it feels to leave. Walking away starts to feel irresponsible.

• Ultimately for me, I think it came down to the people — it felt right to stay. The friends in the industry, so fun and funny, our great clients, our amazing team. I will always be grateful for those relationships and for knowing I can do hard things.

What did I learn?

I learned that financial fear doesn’t need to lead the conversation. Commission-based pay revealed my own financial insecurity and fear, but eventually, the Lord confirmed that He is my provision — not my deals.

I learned that staying somewhere good can still cost something.

Sometimes the Lord invites us to release something good in order to receive something new.

Are you staying because you’re feeling called to grow or because you’re afraid to leave?

What would clarity change?

What is the cost of staying?

“Do not call to mind the former things, or ponder things of the past. ‘Behold, I will do something new, Now it will spring forth; Will you not be aware of it?

I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, rivers in the desert.” (Isaiah 43:18-19)

Is your job a good fit?

Things were seemingly going well. I beat my boss’ sales numbers that first month (which was all you really wanted!) But my husband’s late-night question of, “Hey, what’s happening with you?” needed to be answered.

I had never done anything like this and was not used to hurdles when it came to adjusting to new work. Years earlier, my husband commented that he thought I just found whatever job I wanted, interviewed, then started the job. This was different. It was a whole new body of information that I knew nothing about. Evidently, most people worked up to my new position in this industry. Also, my friend had faith in me, so I had to work hard. And I was! Reading and studying late into the night, up early, learning the information and the people that mattered. My husband wanted to know why I was so stressed.

Seemingly, this should have been a good fit. Up until then, I had done money or people (staffing/human resources or cost administration) and this was a combination of both! Commission with a base salary, lots of room for growth . . . all I had to do is learn it — and I had a great teacher! One of my tightly-held values was that of work/life balance and although life was tipped to one side for now, once this learning curve was over, things would go back to normal, right?

NOTE: The reason I beat my boss’ numbers is because he gave me some of his deals. So, there’s that… :)

Where are you in your work?

Is it a good fit? What parts do you like?

How much of an investment have you made?

Is it attractive to you when considering new work possibilities?

If you could do anything you wanted, what would you do?

I would encourage you to set aside some time to really think about these things. And of course, let’s be practical. I absolutely love to dream, but do-able is so excellent. Consider your values. What’s important to you? Will your work allow those values to play out?

Consider:

“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared in advance so we would walk in them.”

(Ephesians 2:10)

My Work Beginnings

"I trained my buddy Chuck, and he was dumb as a rock!”

That line from my buddy was how my new career got started. Inviting, right? As the Marketing Director of a nonprofit, I knew there was something else out there and began to actively look. When I interviewed with a staffing company for something else, the recruiter asked if she could get an interview for my job— sounded great to her! But when my buddy at church said he was opening a bank branch and wanted to train me, I knew this was what I had been praying for! That’s how it all started . . .

Have you ever wondered where you belong in the world of work?

I have been fascinated by how people choose their work for as long as I can remember. It probably started in my college days. I did summer temp work in downtown DC, and loved it. I worked for Channel 5 with Maury Povich (a newscaster), did data analysis at the World Bank and was offered a job at Goodyear in sales and marketing with the Blimp. I loved “temping” and especially with “Mrs. B”, my staffing manager.

Mrs. B and husband Ralph

I jumped at the chance to work as a staffing consultant with Mrs. B, so quit college, started work and loved it. We doubled the business in a year, she opened her own agency and we enjoyed growth, great clients and a great reputation. Mrs. B was kind, incredibly sharp and naturally gifted at understanding a person’s character and placing them in the right job. For me, this job was like water … natural, easy and I was good at it.

Since that time, I have loved talking about what people do for work, how they got there and what they dream about. I have learned a few things along the way about work, how faith and work connect and how to find how you’re created. This connects so fully with my faith walk, you’ll see bible verses sprinkled throughout my posts, reminding us that we are loved and cared for. No worries if you have different thoughts!  If you have questions about where you fit, keep reading or pop around on this website to see what your next steps are.

I’d love to have a conversation with you!

Let’s find your best career fit and create a plan to get you there!