How do we end up staying so long??

PART 3

What Career Direct taught me about my Wiring

After mortgages, I trainied as a Career Direct consultant and began giving assessments and consultations. LOVED it. (still do!) As a part of my training, I took another assessment where “unstructured” was again my number one personality trait. My first assessment was taken in the middle of mortgages, stress and overwhelm.

Wrestling with the Results

After resigning, the stress was gone and I had to consider — could this actually be true? One of the strengths of this assessment is that it is statistically verifiable, meaning that if you were to repeat the assessment, your numbers would remain the same or very close. Your interests, skills and values may shift, but your personality remains the same. Which is what this second assessment showed — None of my numbers changed more than a couple either way on the continuum, but that “unstructured” trait shifted two points to be the most possible. I questioned my trainer — “how could this be true?” She very gently encouraged me that there are no bad traits. I was seeing a therapist and broached the subject of possibly being A.D.D. She didn’t diagnose, but her “you THINK?” said it all. Over a period of two to three years, the Lord confirmed His design in me and showed me more of the good things about who I am. He also led me to great strategies for those parts that have been hard. (Like “time-blindness”!)

New Things!

This caused a bit of shame since I was from a pretty structured home and should be able to do structure. I led our church in a Job Fair with Better Together. Oh, what fun!! As we were packing up and leaving, I felt the Lord distinctly say, “This is one of the good things I had in mind for you to do.” (Not audibly, but distinctly, nonetheless.) I called the CEO at Better Together and we had breakfast. We decided it would be great to work together! They offered me a part-time, flexible position the following year as a Partnership Manager working to encourage churches to join in the mission. As a pastor’s wife for forever and lover of business, it was a sweet fit and the work felt like a wide-open door that was intuitive in nature. My boss was amazingly great and we approached the work similarly and made great headway in opening a new region in Florida. I can’t TELL you the difference it makes working in your strengths vs. against them. I highly recommend!! My husband and I moved to Virginia the following year and are currently creating a new life here including kids and grandkids, close family, new friends, gardening and lots of new work. The Lord knows what’s next for us . . . and for you! Want to have a conversation about your work?

How do we end up staying so long??

PART 2

Performance in your work doesn’t equal Design

You can perform well in a job and still be misaligned. You can succeed — and still feel like you’re swimming upstream. If you had asked me, I would have told you I’d end up in staffing. That work was intuitive. Natural. Mortgages were not. But as we talked about in Part 1 of Why We Stay, it often seems right to stick with our careers, to keep going and improve.

I had begun to doubt myself. I watched others on my team and felt like I was missing something. I met with my boss, with a couple co-workers and was assured, “You’re doing great! It’s going to get better!” Co-workers said they were struggling too.

“Unstructured”

A friend introduced me to a company called Career Direct. They gave career assessments and helped folks figure out what careers would be a good fit. Shizzam! I LOVED the concept, took the assessment and got the results. It said that I was highly unstructured and that I shouldn’t be in a job with lots of details or deadlines. (agh!) “Unstructured” sounded irresponsible. Undisciplined. Scattered. I came from a structured home and had handled detailed work my whole life. Surely the assessment was wrong. It was just stress, I told myself. I honestly disregarded the result as I knew it was incorrect.

Work was interfering with my life . . . becoming my life. Sixty-hour work weeks were normal and I was discouraged and isolated.

Around this time a couple things happened — I heard of an organization called Better Together - they did job fairs at churches, inviting local employers to solve local unemployment. At the same time, I had a meaningful conversation about stepping into nonprofit leadership. It didn’t materialize — but it reawakened something. As I thought and prayed, I ended up re-engaging with my passions, ultimately giving me the couraeg to resign my mortgage work.

Competence does not equal Design.

Skill does not equal Wiring.

Survival does not equal Fit.

Misalignment is costly. Not only do you experience relationship strain, stress and a lower success rate, but your lack of confidence can lead to doubt your worth as a person. At times, I had some pretty unhealthy interactions, sometimes originating with me and other times a client or boss. Truly understanding one’s own abilities, limitations and personality can limit these exchanges, as it is clear what situations we will thrive in and which will not be a good fit.

Where are you succeeding but exhausted?

What feels intuitive vs. forced?

Set aside some time to honestly consider your work this week.

How do we end up staying so long??

PART 1

A note to my mortgage buds . . .

I almost feel guilty for talking about my work like this. After all, I was the one who accepted the jobs, the training, who networked and made good friends in the industry. I always loved my teams, my bosses, my clients and industry friends. Toward the end of my career, there was a rhythm (albeit long hours!), but we were “in it” together, we commiserated, celebrated wins and cared for each other. I truly had the best boss, team, great products and good friends.

Years earlier, I had worked in staffing — it felt like water. Natural. Intuitive. Energizing. Mortgages were different. I could do them. I ended up doing them well. But it was never the same.

So what happened? Why did I stay in mortgages vs. going after my first career love?

The answer is more complicated than I expected.

• Early on, it felt like a gift. I was given the opportunity to learn an industry that combined two things I was good at — money and people. Friends encouraged me: “You’ll be great at that.” A good friend trained me generously and trusted me. It was a season of growth. But it was never easy.

  Also, growth can quietly become obligation.

• I stepped into an industry I barely understood. I didn’t yet know what it would take to thrive — only that I needed to prove myself.

• Investment makes leaving hard. After a few years, you’ve invested time, skill, reputation, and relationships. Commissions increase. Confidence grows. The longer you stay, the more expensive it feels to leave. Walking away starts to feel irresponsible.

• Ultimately for me, I think it came down to the people. The friends in the industry, so fun and funny, our great clients, our amazing team. I will always be grateful for those relationships and for knowing I can do hard things.

What did I learn?

I learned that financial fear doesn’t need to lead the conversation. Commission-based pay revealed my own financial insecurity and fear, but eventually, the Lord confirmed that He is my provision — not my deals.

I learned that staying somewhere good can still cost something.

Sometimes the Lord invites us to release something good in order to receive something new.

Are you staying because you’re feeling called to grow or because you’re afraid to leave?

What would clarity change?

What is the cost of staying?

“Do not call to mind the former things, or ponder things of the past. ‘Behold, I will do something new, Now it will spring forth; Will you not be aware of it?

I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, rivers in the desert.” (Isaiah 43:18-19)

Is your job a good fit?

Things were seemingly going well. I beat my boss’ sales numbers that first month (which was all you really wanted!) But my husband’s late-night question of, “Hey, what’s happening with you?” needed to be answered.

I had never done anything like this and was not used to hurdles when it came to adjusting to new work. Years earlier, my husband commented that he thought I just found whatever job I wanted, interviewed, then started the job. This was different. It was a whole new body of information that I knew nothing about. Evidently, most people worked up to my new position in this industry. Also, my friend had faith in me, so I had to work hard. And I was! Reading and studying late into the night, up early, learning the information and the people that mattered. My husband wanted to know why I was so stressed.

Seemingly, this should have been a good fit. Up until then, I had done money or people (staffing/human resources or cost administration) and this was a combination of both! Commission with a base salary, lots of room for growth . . . all I had to do is learn it — and I had a great teacher! One of my tightly-held values was that of work/life balance and although life was tipped to one side for now, once this learning curve was over, things would go back to normal, right?

NOTE: The reason I beat my boss’ numbers is because he gave me some of his deals. So, there’s that… :)

Where are you in your work?

Is it a good fit? What parts do you like?

How much of an investment have you made?

Is it attractive to you when considering new work possibilities?

If you could do anything you wanted, what would you do?

I would encourage you to set aside some time to really think about these things. And of course, let’s be practical. I absolutely love to dream, but do-able is so excellent. Consider your values. What’s important to you? Will your work allow those values to play out?

Consider:

“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared in advance so we would walk in them.”

(Ephesians 2:10)

My Work Beginnings

"I trained my buddy Chuck, and he was dumb as a rock!”

That line from my buddy was how my new career got started. Inviting, right? As the Marketing Director of a nonprofit, I knew there was something else out there and began to actively look. When I interviewed with a staffing company for something else, the recruiter asked if she could get an interview for my job— sounded great to her! When my buddy at church said he was opening a bank branch and wanted to train me, I knew this was what I had been praying for! That’s how it all started . . .

Have you ever wondered where you belong in the world of work?

I have been fascinated by how people choose their work for as long as I can remember. It probably started in my college days. I did summer temp work in downtown DC, and loved it. I worked for Channel 5 with Maury Povich (a newscaster), did data analysis at the World Bank and was offered a job at Goodyear in sales and marketing with the Blimp. I loved “temping” and especially with “Mrs. B”, my staffing manager.

Mrs. B and husband Ralph

I jumped at the chance to work as a staffing consultant with Mrs. B, so quit college, started work and loved it. We doubled the business in a year, she opened her own agency and we enjoyed growth, great clients and a great reputation. Mrs. B was kind, incredibly sharp and naturally gifted at understanding a person’s character and placing them in the right job. For me, this job was like water … natural, easy and I was good at it.

Since that time, I have loved talking about what people do for work, how they got there and what they dream about. I have learned a few things along the way about work, how faith and work connect and how to find how you’re created. This connects so fully with my faith walk, you’ll see bible verses sprinkled throughout my posts, reminding us that we are loved and cared for. No worries if you have different thoughts!  If you have questions about where you fit, keep reading or pop around on this website to see what your next steps are.

I’d love to have a conversation with you! Let’s find your best career fit and create a plan to get you there!